Beware, these are hard to hear.
The band-aid needs to come off at some point.
Here are list of reasons why now is the best time to rip it off.
Facts about (Female) Narcissists
“How do I know if she is a narcissist?”
After 10+ years with one and not being destroyed I can share the following insights.
#1) She will ALWAYS cheat. Sad but true. She is texting 3-4 guys right now. I must accept it and move on. Do I want to be in the rotation of giving her what she wants – my suffering (and her supply).
#2) To be free I have to accept I will NOT get closure. If I seek closure I will get gaslit and hoovered – drawing myself back into the cycle. If I must “end it” I will do it matter-of-factly and once only.
Simple and direct.
For example when she (the N) emailed to ask why I had blocked her
I responded “I no longer wish to speak to you outside the terms of our agreement”.
Hard to do. Necessary to move forward.
No explanation is needed and none will be given if requested.
Leading to my next insight…
#3) Everything you say will be twisted, coerced and manipulated to fit HER delusions and they do NOT represent reality.
#4) Now that I have ended it I will play NO games and start NO drama hoping to hurt her. I will only degrade myself and be subject to another round of gaslighting and abuse by doing so.
#5) Narcissists are emotionally tone deaf. I am moving on and closure is not part of it. I can say my peace but it will fall on deaf ears (and likely be used against me)
#6) I am NOT the problem. I will accept nothing less than the respect I deserve.
#7) She will hurt you and destroy your soul for petty gain. Sacrificing all trust to temporarily make herself feel better.
#8) She can never love you (or your children) like a normal person.
#9) She is always plotting and devising ways to keep me feeling unbalanced and insecure.
#10) She is VOID of emotion. The female narcissist must create chaos and emotional suffering in other to get their fix.
#11) As a long term partner you mean NOTHING. Her goal is to keep you locked in as her main source of suffering while constantly expanding her horizons (hunting grounds?). In fact, she cares much more about her secondary and new sources of supply. They’re exciting and new. The long term partner is the fool she comes back to and is the most convenient – and requires the least amount of effort.
#12) Amazing Sex means NOTHING. She will still cheat.
#13) She has slept with FAR MORE people than you think
#14) She will be attracted to you when you are sick or vulnerable
#15) My (your) suffering is a victory to her! I will not give her the satisfaction privately or publicly.
#16) She has extreme patience when it comes to ONE thing. Controlling you.
#17) Her goal is to get away with her pathological behavior of serially cheating and destabilizing my mental health.
#18) They like when you’re a wreck and “let yourself go”.
#19) She will lower your expectations over time. Fucking you over a little more here and there until you’re accepting your new hell (life with her).
#20) What I thought was normal is distorted and I’ve become accustomed to getting less than what I deserve as a person and a partner.
#21) Like #19. What used to be “Break Up Worthy” offenses now become the norm.
#22) Ignoring you is a way to control you. Fuck that.
#23) The silent treatment only works if you care.
#24) Silence is a tool that can be used to your advantage. She will use it as a tool to control and manipulate you. Call her bluff, end it and go no-contact. Save yourself and know that you did what was right for YOU. It’s satisfying in the long term.
#25) I wanted it sane but it never was.
#26) She will use the Silent Treatment to Flirt and Fuck other men.
#27) It is MY (your) duty to end the insanity.
#28) The silent treatment (or cold shoulder) is a great time to end things. She already did.
#29) She only cares about control and what YOU can do for her.
#30) Everything that you look forward to will be sabotaged if she knows about it.
#31) Everytime she cheats on you she will have plausible deniability.
#32) She will always say things to give herself away. Trust your gut.
#31) Giving you the silent treatment means it’s time to leave, forever.
#32) Her love will NEVER be real. It is all tactics. A shell game to preserve her fragile, malignant existence.
#33) She is a pathological liar.
#34) She is always up to no good.
#35) Just because I don’t like the truth about her does NOT make it less true.
#36) She will get away with what YOU allow. A deep respect for ourselves is needed.
#37) She will enjoy when you suffer. (cartman)
#38) She won’t hurt like you do. She will have narcissistic injury which is different and NOT normal.
#39) You will always feel “less than” with her.